She Lives Desperate – A pandemic story

Then an atheist film director stood up and defended it. I was shocked. He got it. He’d been in a similar kind of life experience before, but with a different outcome. That’s when I knew, we had reached our vision.

Trusting God, When You’re Surrounded

When you’re attacked, you have four choices.

1.) Fight in your own strength

2.) Walk away. (If possible)

3.) Hire someone to fight on your behalf.

4.) Trust God to show you what to do.

Number 4 is always the hardest, and sometimes even encompasses 1 to 3. Our natural survival instinct is to fight or run, not to lay down our weapons of defense.

When Judas led the soldiers to arrest Jesus; Jesus had his friends buy swords, so that the prophecy of his arrest would be fulfilled. But he never authorized the use of weapons and rebuked Peter when he cut off the ear of a soldier. Jesus could have commanded legions of angels to his defense any second. Even a single angel could have wiped out that entire city.

This doesn’t make sense, when you’re enemies are pounding on your door. But how often does anything God does make sense. God’s logic is not “man’s” logic.

That is when faith and trusting God is required.

Proverbs 3:5-6

“trust in the lord, with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and He will direct your steps. “


Jeremiah 29:11

tells us not to fear. “Have I not commanded you to be strong and courageous, for the Lord is with you”.
It’s the fear about our future that grabs our heart. To that God said.

Matthew 6:25-34 25

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.

Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.

If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you-you of little faith?

So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’

For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Ephesians 6:12

For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of  the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.

Surrounded by UpperRoom

I hear a lot of criticisms about Joel Osteen, often by religious people and even pastors, but one thing I know is, Joel Osteen understands something most pastors I have encountered do not.

He understands that God uses difficult times, often insurmountable challenges to position us for what’s next.

You’ll hear the same from the “Cussing Christian”, as he calls himself. Steve Harvey the host of Family Feud, when he shares with his audience about how God brought him through homelessness, realizes that he is positioned in the entertainment field, only because he trusted God, and God positioned him through the insurmountable challenges he encountered, earlier in life.

Trusting God When you don’t understand

When my mom passed away right before Christmas in 2019, an entirely unexpected event. As I helped a hospice nurse move my mother’s body, three hours after she was brought home to the house.

I was suddenly awaken to how much time we waste fearing and worrying about being abused, ripped off, cheated, betrayed, wronged, pleasing others.

My mom was an insomniac, she would be awake all night unable to sleep, worrying about who knows what. But there she was now, laying on a gerny, with myself and a nurse helping prepare her motionless body for the funeral limousine to arrive and take her body away.

She gained nothing from her years of worrying, other than just being tormented and discouraged. None of her worries came to pass, and if any of them did, none of them mattered anymore.

As someone who lost everything; years later I look back at what I was trying to hold onto, a reputation, a job for an employer who didn’t care about me, a dream. Yet thirteen years later, only now beginning to recover financially. I am 500% happier on the other side of it, despite the losses and pain I endured.

Not because it wasn’t the most challenging thing I had experienced so far, not because I’ve fully finacially recovered nor can recover those lost years, but because of freedom.

I have freedom. I have seen God bring me through it. I have freedom, because I can trust God in those areas of my life, that I used to worry about 24 hours a day.

That is not to say, all of my worries are gone. I have areas that my mind and heart tell me to be afraid, like being ripped off or cheated from something I had been promised or told to expect. But that occurs when my eyes are on the offenses, not on the God from which my provisions come from.

I become uptight, afraid, discouraged, frustrated and even silently grieved whenever I look at the offenses, instead of the God whose taken care of me through thirteen years of loss.

It’s times like that, I have to isolate myself from any and every source that speaks anything that stirs up disbelief, doubt, fear.

I surround myself with worship music, the word of God, and the second my flesh starts to worry, I put on a YouTube or Podcast of teachings that encourage me to trust God, to depend on God, to keep going.

I do this until my peace is restored. It’s only in the place of peace, that I can clearly hear and see how God is involved.

Historically, I’d run to pastors and church leaders for advice, prayer and counsel. I can say, I rarely found any long term relief doing that. In fact, many times I’d come away worse off, having received rather worldly kind of advice, or things they read in the bible but didn’t belive themselves.

Satan will do everything possible, use anyone available, to cast doubt again on God, to pull me back into the bondage of fear. Because fear is Satan’s domain. That is the same tactic Satan used in the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve. There were no people, so he used a serpent to cast doubt, to challenge what God had said.

Only surrounding myself in the presence of God, avoiding those who would pull me into doubt, putting on worship music and Godly teaching has ever brought me back into peace, sometimes taking weeks or months, depending on how big the battle is. I am unapologetic when it comes to avoiding those who would pull me into doubt or keep me in the place of doubt. The treasure of God, the Pearl of Great Value, is something I’ve gave my life to obtain, why would I surrender it for anything or anyone?

January 21, 2021 Prophetic Word for America

Lies were told in America to obtain a specific outcome. Those lies have locked some Americans into a specific pattern of thinking and belief that will block them from natural progession. Therefore, I will not bless those outcomes and I will expose the lies to bring freedom.

“This is a summarize of the prophetic dream I had this morning. It was posted first on Twitter, and therfore had to be shown to 280 characters to fit into a tweet. I will not be posting or recording the symbolism or contents of the dream, since it has been interpreted and summarized.”

The timing seems appropriate from a biblical and prophetic perspective. January 21, 2021, or in other words, 21, 21. A doubling of the prophetic number Twenty-one.

21 means, “Exceeding sinfulness, of sin.”

1/14/2021 Prophetic Word – Shackles

Just getting this right now: 1/14/2021 8:10 pm. It’s been rare to get a prophetic word while working on my projects. I was right in the middle of making a post to a Facebook Page that I had copied from another Social Media about the project, when suddenly this “word”, unexpectedly arrived.

Historically, (for me personally), these kinds of prophetic words that come while I am thinking consciously about other things or working, have been very major and significant. So here it is, hot off the press of heaven.

“The shackles that have held you captive in 2020 and years past, are now being broken off.”

Trump Impeachment 2021 Prophecy – It’s A Mistake

Sometimes the Prophetic will come as something as simple as hearing a song in my mind. There have even been times God had an extremely specific song get played over a stores sound system, as I am walking through the store talking with the Holy Spirit and praying.

God is very creative in how He communicates with us when we’re paying attention.

Even more creative when we’re overwhelmed by circumstances that we can not otherwise settle enough inside to hear what God has in mind.

Sometimes it may be a song I don’t listen to, or even like, but a key part sticks out and repeats in my head. It may have been 10 years or longer since I heard it, and suddenly I hear the tune and lyrics inside.

Now, about the current 2021 attempt to overthrow the president of the United States of America via constitutional Article 14, Article 25, or via impeachment of Donald Trump, I started hearing “It’s a mistake” by the Australian 1980’s band, MenAtWork.

All of the chaos going on in America and locally here in California has greatly blocked my normal prophetic flow. And it’s in seasons like this, that historically God had spoken to me through dreams. I don’t say, “dreams and visions”, because I’ve only had one vision in my life as of the beginning of 2021. So visions are not common to me, and while having some qualities to a dream, are very different.

Starting around 2018 I started hearing songs when the other ways I normally hear have become blocked. To reimphasise, that is the case presently.

Now I very rarely have heard specific things about politics, personally. But this day on January 13, 2021, it’s very clear that God is saying, “It’s a mistake”.

I’ve been hearing just the chorus repeating, which pretty much just repeats different tonal versions of, “its a mistake”.

I decided out of curiosity, to see what the rest of the lyrics to this Men at Work, song says, and in the context of song the Holy Spirit chose, the current situation, the accusations made against the president, it’s 100% a prophetic warning.

Other than “its a mistake”, that’s all I’ve gotten. And it’s for both parties. I have no idea about the outcome. And even if I were someway able to present it as a prophetic warning directly to those making this decisions. I suspect, that just like in old testament prophecy, the leaders would ignore it. Because God has already hardened their hearts.

So I’m just putting it out where I can, and God will confirm it across the globe, through other prophetic people, if this “It’s a mistake”, warning is correct.

Here are the lyrics to the whole song.

Mafia Style Spiritual Attack Waged Against You

I had the longest and most unusual dream this morning. Without going into details. I believe it represents the turmoil many are experiencing right now. A special demonic mafia has been assigned to cause coordinated disruption in all areas we have left unguarded, open, exposed, comprised in.


Some came into 2021 carrying offenses, some have already compromised to temptation in the name of isolation and weaknesses having been worn down over an extended season. Others have become angry with hatred in their heart. Some are bitter over real or perceived violations that have occurred against them.


As a result, an unusually coordinated spiritual attack is occurring, in which there is a head, and subordinate leader that encompasses multiple areas weaknesses, vulnerability, and compromise in your life.

What is this leader and their subordinates? Each area of SIN and SPIRITUAL VIOLATION has specific demons, agents against God assigned to them. Easy examples you already know about, Lying. Their are lying spirits. Another you are aware of is Sickness, their ate demons assigned to some forms of sickness.

Without going into a lengthy discussion about spiritual warfare and deliverance, to keep it simple and on point, like in the Kingdom of God there are different levels of authority. In Gods kingdom we have God, Jesus, Holy Spirit, the Angel of the Lord, etc. A higherarchy. Different assignments and areas of authority.

GOD’S enemy has initiated a mafia style assault intentioned to divide you, isolate you and create a wedge in your relationship with God the Father. If you’re finding yourself in this situation in 2021, continue reading.


The key to survival is to disarm the spiritual enemy. But since you are dealing with multiple attacks, in multiple areas of your life, you may not find the relief after trying to change what you were doing that opened the area of attack, as in the past. You may not even be completely aware of the area of compromise, because you’ve lived with it so long.


Confess and repent of all areas where you have harboured iniquity against anyone, even yourself. Repent and renounce all areas of compromise. Abandon areas of sin, remove yourself from situations with anyone who leads you, encourages, tempts or weakens your ability to guard your heart. This means reestablishing boundaries, and establishing boundaries. You can not guard your heart and mind, if your borders are open and compromised.


This may be in friendships or inappropriate relationships, it may be emotional relationships through social media, it may be in areas you and your spouse if you have one, are corrupted due to unforgiveness, resentment, selfishness on your part that has hardened your heart.


Cast off anything that is in violation of your relationship with God, repent, find ways to draw near to God, so God can draw near to you.


Change your environment with worship music, get away from your physical space if needed to pray in your car and talk alone with God, set aside some time to fast and pray if appropriate.

Ask God for help. Your prayer can be as simple as “GOD, Help”. Ask the Holy Spirit to show and reveal any area of compromise.

President Elect, becomes Presidential Limo Driver

The “president elect, vice president, limo driver” had an almost reflective tone about him, somewhat solemn and without regret of all the past pointless fires, destruction of property and racial discord.

Prophetic Alert for Remainder of 2021

The goal of God’s enemy for rest of 2021, is to cause individual offenses against you and to put you into a place of being offended, and to cause you to self isolate emotionally and spiritually.

Do not carry offenses forward into 2021

When you are isolated emotionally and spiritually, you become vulnerable to anything the enemy wants to do.

Guard your heart. Do not carry any offenses from 2020 into 2021.

Vivaldi